Politicking

Caution: Political triggers below.

I need a break from talking about the dysfunction of my family…so I’m talking about a political conversation…that was sparked by that same dysfunction…

There’s nothing more unappealing to me than being in the spotlight. I’ve said a few times throughout this blog that I don’t like attention and I doubt this will ever change because, in my experience, nothing good ever comes from having too much of it. I can understand why some people go out of their way to get it because when the right kind of attention is on you…it feels euphoric. But I mostly attract the wrong kind. So when I don’t want to be seen…I usually go out of my way to be invisible. I’ve always had the gift of rubbing people the wrong way and it’s usually a result of my opinion. I could understand the outrage that my thoughts cause if I was speaking from a place of bad intention but I always speak from a place of truth. The truths I speak that boost the ego of someone else are always praised and positively reinforced…but the minute I tell that same person a truth they don’t want to hear…I’m labeled as nothing that I am and everything that they need to believe about me in order for my words to hold less weight.

The fact that I exist in a world filled with people that are so against accepting opinions that force them to think outside of their comfort zone…irritates my soul. Earlier today my niece asked me about Harris and Trump and I gave her my honest opinion. I like Trump more because he says what other people are scared to say and I can respect someone who is willing to tell their truth irrespective of the backlash they’ll face. I didn’t think I said anything wrong but when my twin found out I didn’t stand in direct opposition of someone our ‘community’ has deemed unsupportable…she went to the group chat to try to expose my “irresponsible” remarks. I wasn’t sure whether or not to upload the screenshots because politics is such a touchy subject but…I honestly don’t care. (SSs below) I wouldn’t vote for either candidate…but if I was forced to…I’d go for the one who is transparent even when that transparency rubs people the wrong way. I won’t pretend I support everything he stands for because at the end of the day…he’s a politician. But the fact that I’m expected to show blind faith towards someone else just because she’s pigmented…annoys me. And what annoys me more than that is the fact that I’m expected to teach my niece to follow this same sheep mentality.

For a while I’ve been going back and forth about whether or not I should start a podcast and the last time I decided to go through with it I bought everything I needed to start one. This is the other ‘project’ that I spoke about wanting to do a couple months ago and I’m still talking myself out of doing it…to this day. My opinions always spark outrage when it goes against what I’m expected to think and that has me overly protective of my audio energy. Writing this blog is easy for me because if I ever decide I don’t want to do it anymore…I can always delete it and disappear. But having my voice out there feels more permanent so I’ve been talking myself out of committing to something I can’t back out of. The conversation with my close minded twin validated the fears I have of putting myself out there more than I already am. Because this world is filled with people like her, whose beliefs are based on whatever the majority of their peers believe. I already clear the stage enough with my written thoughts…so that microphone will probably never make it outside of its packaging. Do I realize that this is just another one of my cop outs? Bye Captain Obvious.

Love,

Choosy

*She never responded.

**Yes…I od’d with my responses. But…I was triggered.