Childish
I should’ve taken my ‘bIPoLaRiSm to FaceBook a long time ago…
The tables turned. It’s the way my twin has rearranged her entire work schedule now that her behavior is being exposed to familial strangers on the internet. All of a sudden her and her mother have found a way to open their calendars…when just a couple weeks ago my niece was missing school because they had all the excuses in the world about why they weren’t able to take her. So far I’ve written about 6 posts…uploaded 24 screen shots…and I was going to leave it where it is after finding out that my twin is opening her home back up to my niece. But after dragging her in the chat all day before attempting to wave the white flag when my conscience started bothering me…she double downed on her demonism. (SSs below) She sent a picture of Sanderson sister decor while I was doing my Yoga and that distraction is the only reason I didn’t let my ego lead me back to FaceBook…right away.
Earlier I posted a few sentences about how everyone in the group chat claims to have me blocked but no one blocked my twin…so they’re all aware that I’m still being triggered even though they keep playing dumb. I was getting real life satisfaction from trolling the chat with my ‘told you so’s’ all day until I realized that my niece should be the one I’m focused on. But when I sit back and really take in the fact that all of this is a direct result of the jealousy my BM and twin have towards me…my obsession with directing my rage towards them holds my attention. My twin is now trying to come in and play clean up but the damage has already been done. I don’t know why she thinks I would ever let her forget about all the time she’s wasted by refusing to hold her ‘mother’ accountable but I’ve already committed myself to daily reminders on her behalf.
It’s nice that they’re coming together to do what is needed for my niece now and when I picked her up I made sure to tell her that this is how family is supposed to act towards each other. Then I told her that all the fighting she’s witnessed between us isn’t normal. I tried to give her hope about the current situation but the truth is I have no idea what’s going on with my little sister. The guilt from all the negative remarks I’ve made about her parenting is eating me up because after feeling the weight of the responsibility that comes with motherhood…for less than a week…I can emphatically say I could never…and will never want to. So as much as I want to put the mental break my little sister is having off on the inaction of my womb donor and one of her demon spawns…I have to accept the fact that my niece is experiencing this childhood trauma as a result of my actions too. And now all the childish verbal abuse I willingly sent towards her ‘mommy’…doesn’t seem as justified as it used to. Because it’s now affecting the actual child.
Love,
Choosy
**I went back to FB and made a post dedicated to my twin’s words on 7/20/21…and her current refusal to move around. I made sure I pointed out that the rest of the chat, who love bragging about all the work our great grandmother did in the community…”sat back and watched their actual family self-destruct”.
