(K)eep(O)n(S)miling
These thoughts were triggered by the reminder that Father knows best…
I have been compared to many things in the ‘family’ group chats and none of these things were meant to be flattering. So far, my favorite comparison has been my twin equating me to John Nash in A Beautiful Mind. I took it as an insult, at first, because that was her intention but after finding the DVD at Goodwill and rewatching it…I am humbled. My belief was that this gifted math genius was some sort of crazed looney tune because I had first watched the movie in my twenties and back then I had no spiritual emotional intelligence. So I couldn’t understand the spiritual nuances of this man who clearly possessed supernatural abilities. All I saw was someone suffering from a mental illness and I didn’t care to see beyond that veil. But when I rewatched it yesterday….I didn’t even have to finish the whole movie before I figured out the real reason his mind overcame him…and it had more to do with his ego than his diagnosis.
When God imparts individuals with gifts that are beyond human comprehension…there is an invisible ‘user discretion’ attached to those abilities. That discretion only becomes visible if we realize that we are just vessels used by God to shine His light. Nash’s job was to shine a light in the field of mathematics that God assigned him to. His ability to ‘illuminate’ was top tier until his sense of self outgrew his purpose. That’s when his mind turned on him. Judging from what I saw in the movie…Nash began to disregard his work as a professor, work meant to usher the new generation of genius in, in order to work on a more high profile assignment. The more high profile assignment was an idea that only existed in his mind and it fed an ego that already seemed to be out of alignment due to all the success he had achieved up until that point. And when an ego is misaligned in a soul picked by God to carry out a mission…God creates circumstances for it to be brought back to a place where it’s of use to Him. By the end of the movie…Nash finally returns to a position where he could be of use to his Creator…and ends up receiving the highest level of honor that can be bestowed upon a man in his profession.
Rewatching this movie gave me another reason to be grateful for Divine Guidance because I am currently on my own journey to fulfill an assignment that I believe was given to me by God and I want to do it the right way. I look around and see a lot of other people who are also on assignment but instead of “electrifying” their pupils…their ego “pacifies” them while craving to be seen as a ‘god’ in a field that isn’t their ministry. That oversight can lead one to ‘sacrifice’ their morals in order to achieve what they want for themselves as opposed to achieving what God wants for them. This behavior only leads to mental unrest at a time when your hard work suggests you should be moving forward with peace of mind. I don’t want that to be my story so I’m continuing on my journey towards the intentional death of my ego. I am not bigger than God’s purpose for my life and I pray my actions never suggest to God that I think I am. God knows our heart…even the parts we think we hide from Him. If it is out of alignment…He will allow us to go to war with ourselves in hopes that this brings us back to Him. That is what Divine Intervention and unconditional love looks like.
Love,
Choosy
