HolyRoast
Update: No update…she hasn’t said a word.
These thoughts were triggered by the broken record I can’t seem to stop sounding like…
How are my claims of speaking to God any different than a Pastor? The “spiritual psychosis” ‘diagnosis’ that was given to me by my twin keeps intruding on my thoughts…and today, all I could think about were all the sermons I’ve heard that referenced preachers hearing a “word” from God. I’ve never witnessed any pew patrons stand up and declare the mental instability of whoever is doing the one size fits all pastoral voice so…I need answers. I have to be clear and say that I take nothing my twin says at face value. She told me she thought my ‘bipolar’ claims were just a means for me to seek attention when we were younger and when the group chats started she somersaulted into the unwavering belief that I needed “psychotropic medication”. Early on in the chat she refused to refer to me as anything other than “delusional”. But when my words started making sense…I graduated to her “looney” list. She has the hardest time picking a side which leads me to believe she’s just throwing out words that she hopes will stick. I would like to know when she has time to do all this research on my ‘illness’…because I honestly thought all her time was spent hand stitching the Cain costume she’s been dying to wear for years.
This latest term she pulled out her little book of hocus is such a reach. Especially since she claims to have a relationship with God too. But this is how people like her think. They believe that only those on the pulpit have direct access to a Higher Power…and the minute a ‘regular’ person claims to receive messages from the Big Guy…theres a rally for straight jackets and silencers. There are all kinds of denominations that believe in Prophets and Prophetess’ but unless you have paid money for a certificate that deems you worthy of dealing in all things unseen…you’re cast away on an island where they hope you’ll start befriending inanimate objects so they can validate the claims of your mental instability. I don’t understand the logic. Especially since I’ve seen many men…and women…who claim to be ‘anointed’…break all kinds of commandments…for their ‘blessings’. There is a level of hypocrisy that my ‘bipolar’ mind just can’t process I guess.
Why aren’t the ‘crazy’ labels, given to me for speaking about the signs I feel I’m being given, also attributed to men/women ‘of the cloth’? The only thing I can come up with is the way I deliver my ‘sermons’. There’s a level of couth and tact left all the way out of my word choices and…I don’t pass a collection plate around at the beginning, middle, and end of my speeches. I shoot from the lip on what I see and sometimes I completely disregard the emotions of those I speak about. My rudeness is never intentional…but it’s never not intentional either. I’m indifferent about how I say what I see because by the time I get to the point of being disrespectful…my attempts to speak with decorum have all been ignored. So all that’s left is a slow roast…in the name of God. But the fact that there is now a term used to describe the ability to communicate with God that some ‘regular’ people have…is giving “if you can’t beat em’…break em”. Which is crazy because all I’m trying to do is speak on what I feel God tells me…regarding those He has placed in my environment. Is that an indication that my ‘spiritual psychosis’ has led to me hearing voices? Yes…God’s.
Love,
Choosy
