BipolarGemini

I hate these hoes.

I knew it was only a matter of time before the ‘Game of Thorns’ started. After I refused to serve the erratic response expected from me last Thursday…they must have gone back to the kitchen. I purposefully went the weekend without checking in on my niece because she told me she was going to be at the house of one of her cousin’s. And I didn’t say anything yesterday because I didn’t feel like dealing with what I’m dealing with today. Many people may not understand why my compulsion to check in with my niece is so strong…but it’s because I know the energy she is surrounded by. I know that God ultimately has the last say on whether or not these energies can disturb her peace but it makes me feel better when I can see what state of mind she is in for myself. I tried doing that today but because I know my little sister is who she is…I text my twin first. (SS’s below) I fully expected my reentry into her ‘circle of trust’ to hold weight but I keep ‘squaring up’ on ‘Martha Focker’…which sets me up to be triggered. So after I didn’t get a response from her…I texted my niece’s tablet. When the text didn’t say ‘delivered’ I prepared myself for the foolishness and phuckery.

I keep saying that these familial triggers happen the most around new and full moons. The new moon is this Thursday (6/6). I still have no clue what the significance of these time frames are but tampering with someone’s energy, the way they do, suggests spell work…to the spiritually inclined. After seeing my text wasn’t delivered to my niece’s tablet, I went back to my twin and detailed my perception of the situation. She immediately started up her ‘gas guzzler’ and I did my best not to hitch hike but…I caught that ride. All of this happened while I was working so I couldn’t take my ‘Mary Medicine’. That left me with my two other coping mechanisms: watching funny YouTube videos or listening to music. I started out with my 90’s R&B playlist and zoned out. That worked until I got tired of singing love songs to myself. I ended up on YouTube and allowed a commenter to catch a stray…for a passive aggressive comment that wasn’t even directed at me. The ricochet from that slowly raised my body temperature because of my inability to alchemize my frustration in a way that felt good. Which led me to do breathing exercises. This calmed me enough to get through the next few hours of work.

Right when I was finishing my day job…my little sister texted me from my niece’s tablet. I wholeheartedly believe their phone tag trigger was meant to get me to ‘manic out’ in the bigger chat so that my little sister would have a reason to prevent me from taking my niece to the summer classes I signed her up for…that start at the end of this week. All moving parts considered…I believe this is their ‘coup de grâce trigger’ meant to induce my mania like the Christmas of 22’. After I gave her the reason she was looking for…she blocked me. And now I’m sitting here trying to figure out why I have to do all this tap dancing around triggers from people constantly declaring my mental instability. I had to temper my ‘bipolar’ mind Thursday when their attempt failed and I was expected to maintain my composure again today in spite of all the gaslighting. I said a couple posts ago that they look for every reason to excuse away their toxic behavior and they rely on my irrational reactions to do that. Today…I couldn’t control myself when they did another tug and pull on my peace. So…I gave them what they couldn’t get out of me last week. I hate these hoes.

Post Yoga:

*This is exactly the kind of toxicity that would have awaited me if I hadn’t decided to abort (a few times). These energies use kids to reopen trauma wounds in order to prevent old trauma from being healed in their targeted individual. Rinsing and repeating this customized abuse, in empaths like me, can lead to irrational thoughts and behaviors. Keeping me in isolation all these years, by way of the spell work they’ve been doing on my dental and mental health since childhood…which was used to facilitate my history of humiliation, is how they’ve been able to run the same play. (This play is currently being attempted on my niece, which is the generational CURSE I spoke about in the chat last week that ruffled my little sister’s broomstick.) Thankfully…God created another outlet for me to express myself since my ‘outside voice’ was stolen by a family of real life Ursula’s. All I have to do is continue using the gift He gave me…the rest will work itself out.

Post Indica:

**ThANK YOU.

Love,

Choosy

*Correction: The trigger attempt from my little sister happened last Thursday…not Friday like I said in the texts.

*Clarification: The ‘Sanderson sisters’ are the three witches from Hocus Pocus. My ‘mother’ is witch one…twin is witch two…little sis is witch three.