Hi…I’m Choosy….and my ‘family’ has been trying to get me to delete myself for the last 4 years. I have to give the disclaimer that I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at the age of 15 but…my mother never took me for follow-up treatment after the diagnosis.(1x doesn’t count.) So since then I’ve been trying to exist in this world as a ‘normal’ person. I feel like the way I was raised played a big role in my diagnosis so in 2021 I decided to start a conversation with my ‘family’ about our generational curses. Below are the screenshots that kicked off the first of a few group chats. At first, everyone was on board. But after my ‘mother’ reminded them of my ‘diagnosis’…everyone turned on me. The outcome was my ex-communication from my familial unit and I’ve been fighting to prove my sanity ever since.

This blog is my 3rd attempt to document my day to day experiences. The first 2 attempts didn’t see past the first couple months because my ‘family’ has been triggering my ‘manic attacks’ a couple times a month for the last 4 years. It wasn’t until I actually started writing out my thoughts consistently that I noticed the pattern. Throughout the blog I insert screenshots of group chat conversations because I don’t think anyone would believe I’m actually telling the truth if I didn’t. So far I’ve recorded a few mental breaks, dozens of purposeful manic triggers from my ‘family’, and lessons I’m trying to learn so I can stop repeating the same year I’ve been living for 23 years. It’s not my intention to foster any trauma bonds but…I’m writing about my present day trauma…so it could happen. But I use my version of humor, often, to curb the trauma transmission.

-Please check out my ‘GoldenChile’ post from 4/24/24 to get a better understanding of my mindset. No idea if anyone will actually sit and read all of my words but…stranger things have happened.

Love,

Choosy

**Posting M-F @ midnight.